What if everything we've been told about men isn't actually true?
Society has plenty to say about men. They're obsessed with sex. They avoid commitment. They don't care about relationships. They won't speak up when another man behaves badly.
But what if many of these stereotypes don't reflect what men actually believe or want?
In this episode of We Have A Problem, Kaylyn sits down with social psychologist, researcher, and educator Dr. Alan Berkowitz to challenge some of our most deeply held assumptions about men, masculinity, sexuality, and human behavior.
Drawing on decades of research and educational work with men, Dr. Berkowitz explores the disconnect between what men privately believe and what they assume other men believe. For example, his work challenges the stereotype that men universally prioritize casual sex over meaningful, committed relationships.
We explore how social norms and peer expectations shape behavior, why men sometimes go along with things they don't actually agree with, and how mistaken assumptions about masculinity can influence everything from sexual relationships to bystander intervention.
We also discuss Dr. Berkowitz's work with the U.S. Army, his workshops with men, and what he's learned about teaching responsibility, accountability, and the courage to intervene when something isn't right.
And we tackle a bigger question: Are we hurting boys and men by constantly telling them what NOT to do instead of teaching them what TO do?
As conversations about masculinity continue to evolve, are we helping men become better—or reinforcing the very stereotypes we're trying to change?
IN THIS EPISODE:
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What research reveals about what men actually want in relationships
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Why stereotypes about male sexuality can be misleading
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How men misjudge what other men believe
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The psychology of social norms and peer pressure
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Why men sometimes behave differently in groups
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How expectations about masculinity influence sexual behavior
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Why good men sometimes remain silent when something is wrong
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The importance of bystander intervention
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What Dr. Berkowitz learned through his work with the U.S. Army
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His research and educational workshops with men
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Teaching responsibility and accountability without shame
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Why focusing exclusively on negative male behavior may backfire
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How society's expectations of men are changing
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What we should be teaching boys and young men instead
What if changing the way men behave starts with changing what we tell them about themselves?
We Have A Problem... So, let's talk about it.
ABOUT DR. ALAN BERKOWITZ
Dr. Alan Berkowitz is a social psychologist, researcher, author, and educator whose work focuses on social norms, sexual assault prevention, bystander intervention, and engaging men in creating healthier communities. He has spent decades developing research-informed prevention programs and working with universities, military organizations, and communities to promote responsibility, accountability, and positive behavioral change.
CONNECT WITH DR. ALAN BERKOWITZ
Website: https://www.alanberkowitz.com/